Bible Question:
After review about adulty and remariage, I would like to have information about when the adultering spouses get married. That is, my former wife was adultering with a married man and they each got divorced, breaking up two families and then married together. They are Catholic and for a while not allowed in the church (communion) but then were allowed back. Here is my take on the situation. Each adultering spouse did wrong and would be individually forgiven. But forgiveness comes by repenting. One cannot steal, ask for and receive forgiveness and then return to stealing only to expect forgiveness again. It is the knowledge of the wrong that makes the sin. In this case, forgiveness is given with repentance, but repentance includes stopping the behavior that one is forgiven for. Their marriage is living in sin now, because they have not stopped the sin. By my read of the bible, two adultering spouses that marry are always living in sin, even if they ask for forgiveness it will not be given untill the sin is stopped. This greatly affected my life and the other spouse. Both of us had children. She (my former wife) developed a hate for me (while with the other men) and I never forgave her for the adultry, having married (one of) the other man. My son (28 years ago) was pulled emotionally and when she stopped my visitation, I sat on my rights and allowed them to do full parenting. I considered he would be more harmed by the constant arguement and acquiesced to being cut off from my child (with the knowledge they both had professional jobs and not hardship). I believed that as an adult, when that time came, he would be more prepared to understand the reasoning behind my decision. They moved across the country and got my parential rights disolved and adopted him at age 17, changing his name to that of the adultering man, all legal but against my protest. At age 25 I began seeking contact with him but to no avail. He's now 33 and will not communicate with me at all. The year upon year of his mother and her husband living in sin has hardened his heart. At the time, I did what I had to do to limit the stress on him. I did not like it and now wonder if I was wrong and that he will never return. His mom and her husband are always near him to reinforce the years of hate they instilled in him. I simply pray that god gives him the wisdom to understand that his hate to me is misguided. TJS |
Bible Answer: TJS Your statement "In this case, forgiveness is given with repentance, but repentance includes stopping the behavior that one is forgiven for. Their marriage is living in sin now, because they have not stopped the sin. By my read of the bible, two adultering spouses that marry are always living in sin, even if they ask for forgiveness it will not be given untill the sin is stopped." Please refer to the life of David the king of Israel 2 Samuel 11 and 12. Notice 2 Sam 12:13 Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." And Nathan said to David, "The LORD also has taken away your sin; you shall not die." At what point did the Lord take away the sin? Now look at 2 Sam 12:24 Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her; and she gave birth to a son, and he named him Solomon. Now the LORD loved him 2 Sam 12:25 and sent word through Nathan the prophet, and he named him Jedidiah for the LORD'S sake. Notice the words the Lord loved him and named him Jedidiah. The Lord certainly forgave the adultery. We see in David's life consequences from this event the rest of his life as four of his children die. We know this because we read it in the bible. David's relationship with the Lord is restored as we see in his Psalms 51 and Psalms 32. Divorced people do not have to live under condemnation when they have repented and sought the Lord's forgiveness. David moved on with the Lord's blessing and so should we. A thorough study of David can be found at Precept.org - 1 and 2 Samuel Precept Upon Precept. Refocus and serve the Lord with gladness. Blessings to you - Val |