Results 1 - 3 of 3
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Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Answers, Unanswered Bible Questions, Notes Ordered by Verse | ||||||
Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | Is marrying for citizenship real? | Matt 19:5 | rodent_tamer | 182145 | ||
Here are the details of the case: These 2 people dated before and after the sham state marriage. When they legally married they were dating for about 6 months. The christian girl never would have even considered dating him if she thought he wasn't a christian. Before they dated, they were friends and he knew what her beliefs were. She shared the gospel with him and he claimed to have accepted the message of christ. It turned out that his conversion on his part was false. He knew she wouldn't date a nonbeliever and in order to not lose her, he claimed to have accepted Christ. Throughout the relationship they remained sexually pure. In the beginning of the relationship he went to church with her, prayed with her and was even baptised. I want to make clear that even though they cared for each other and were dating when they both married legally, neither of them believed they were truly married. She only knew him for 6 months and would still need the test of time to know him and know God's will regarding marriage. After 2 years dating him, he proposed and she reluctantly said yes, but something in her heart told her to delay the marriage. At that point, she started to suspect something was wrong because she didn't see the fruits of spiritual growth in him even if his moral outward life wasn't blatantly rebellious. She shrugged off that feeling by telling herself he just needed time to mature as a christian. As a result of her being with this man, the girl's relationship to God began to slowly suffer. She stopped going to church, barely prayed, hardly read the word etc.... She became attached to this man and felt stuck. Towards the end of the relationship, the girl's mother began to pressure them to start the wedding plans since their engagment was so long. The wedding plans were taking place and finally after seeking God's will through prayer, she confronted this man and he admitted to her that he didn't truly believe in God. She realized then that she couldn't marry him, but she still was struggling with fear, attachment and insecurity. One day, she went to church, heard a powerful message about maturity and contentment in God and the holy spirit empowered her to have the courage to do what she felt God was asking her to do. She believed God was telling her, "do not be yoked to an unbeliever......choose me and my will above what you will". The girl broke off the relationship and cancelled the wedding. She reconciled to God and remained single for 4 years until now. The nonbeliever who she broke up with immediately entered into another relationship with another girl who he lives with to this day. At the moment, this christian girl is dating a christian man who clearly shows the fruit of his spiritual closeness to God. In other words, there is no doubt in her mind that he is a christian. As her relationship deepens with this man both spiritually and emotionally, they are both thinking about marriage and that is how this whole issue came up. She asked me to post this question on the forum out of curiousity. She is studying about what makes a marriage valid and things of that nature. When the possibility presented itself that she may have inadvertantly married this man in God's eyes all those years ago, it really did a number on her. She and I are not seeking counsel on this forum , we are trying to understand what scripture teaches regarding what makes a marriage valid in the eyes of God. We are hoping to find some answers that could clarify or put to rest any doubt. The girl has presented this situation to her pastor and is currently awaiting a response. Please keep her in your prayers. Thank you |
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2 | Is marrying for citizenship real? | Matt 19:5 | justme | 182240 | ||
rodent tamer: As I read this post I felt like where in the world did anyone ever think legal marriage would not be binding with Gods Word? Has anyone read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 ????? I am most generally a very redemptive person. But, this just does not go down quite right in my spirit. Frankly there are many married people who have just been married by a justice or a court appointed clerk. Often a Pastor will be asked to marry the couple in church after they have found Jesus Christ. Does this mean the marriage is not binding with God? There have been couples who married in a hurry because the husband was in the service and had to go overseas right away, and the couple did not comsumate their union. Yet they are married. Even the law requires a divorce unless the marriage was anullified legally. When someone takes a vow or enteres a legal contract it's as binding no matter if neither or both or only one is a Christian. If the marriage was anulled or could be, why was it not done? I can not make it any more clear than to direct you to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Your post is very disturbing for me. There just is something that just feels odd to me about your post. One thing that seems out of place is that you call her "girl", if she is old enough to get married once before, she is a woman. Is not "this man" you? And if so why do you refer to yourself as a third person? Your story has the flow and feel of spaghetti, too many loose ends, and they don't stick together. If I am wrong I ask your forgiveness. If my intuition is right then this would the response you are looking for. Justme |
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3 | Is marrying for citizenship real? | Matt 19:5 | rodent_tamer | 182252 | ||
I don't know if you followed the entire thread and I think I have failed to express myself correctly. I am not questioning whether justice of the peace marriage is binding to God. I believe it is. I'm not questioning the method, or the spiritual standing of either party. You don't have to be a christian to be married, nor do you have to marry a christian in order to make it binding. My central initial question was did this particular marriage become binding in God's sight even if the 2 people did not perceive themselves as making a consiencious, sincere vow? That legal vow, as far as they were concerned, was "fake" because they only did it so that one of the parties could get their citizenship. What I was questioning was does their perception make a difference to God or does God hold them accountable to that vow even though they didn't mean it? Some have made the argument that since the state is God's agent and the state constituted this vow as valid, then God did as well irregardless of the couple's perceptions and the state being deceived. These are the questions I presented to the forum. I have presented it in 3rd person here because I didn't want to get too personal. I apologize for my dishonesty. The truth is that I am the female that legally married the nonbeliever for the purpose of the attainment of his citizenship. I am a christian and dated this man who claimed to be a christian. Turned out he was pretending so that I would remain with him. He knew I wouldn't date a nonbeliever. About 6 months into the relationship, he was about to lose his job if he didn't produce proof of legal status and asked me to help him in this way, but it was perceived by the 2 of us that this was not a genuine vow on both our parts, it was a vow we were pretending to make so he could get his citizenship. My reasoning at the time was that it was a "technical marriage", but not a spiritual and therefore God recognized one. I thought then and do now that it doesn't matter who "joined us"; whether the state or a pastor, (that is not the significant issue for me). My thinking then was that since neither of us intentionally, conscientiously and sincerely believed ourselves to have actually joined before God, that God therefore didn't join us. As we continued dating after that legal contract was signed we never once believed ourselves to be married but lived as though we were not. Even more so than this, when he later proposed to me, as our relationship progressed, that is when I considered the notion of possibly marrying him. Does that make sense to you? When it came to light that he faked being a Christian, I cancelled the "genuine" wedding that was about to take place 4 yrs after the legal marriage took place. When I made that decision to not marry him genuinely the 2nd time, I felt then and find it difficult now to deny that God was prompting me to do so. I am having difficulty accepting that I imagined all that, but I want to be submissive to that possibility if it is true. Now here is my second question if the argument made is true. If it is true that "A state sanctioned marriage constitutes "What God has joined together" irregardless of what I believed to be doing, how then does God view the legal divorce? Understand that when we separated, we separated with the belief that our break up was not one from marriage, but one from dating. In other words, in our perception, we believed that a marriage never took place though one did according to the state of NJ. Now here is where it gets weird for me. Assuming it is true that our first legal marriage was binding and genuine in the sight of God, then did this man commit adultery in the sight of God when he entered a sexual relationship with this other woman immediately after our mutual break up and cancellation of the second so called "genuine" wedding? It was no secret to me that he became involved with this woman after our break up and I never thought of it as adultery since I never considered us truly married in the first place. As far as I was concerned he was free to date since we no longer were in a relationship or going ahead with our so called "genuine" wedding plans. What literally took place was this: (continued on the next post since there is not enough room here) |
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