Bible Question:
Okay, I'm sorry to be a bother. Please no hate or claiming I'm going to hell or something... If I've made a mistake and I've hurt God, I'll repent. I most likely sound stupid and childish. I'm not sure how to feel or what to think. I'm just a teenager and I'm lost. I don't need serious judgement... Just some insight. Mercy, please. Anyway, I've got a boyfriend. I'm 18, he's 20. I've been with him for almost three years. We waited two and a half years to have sex. It happened a few more times and then I put a stop to it because I dont know how God feels about me and him, and I don't want to hurt him. Ive always been a serious believer, did well when I was in highschool, my friends look up to me as a good Christian and "the good girl". This boy and I fully intend to marry. We were each others "firsts" and he's the first boy I ever kissed. I've never done any drugs or alcohol, I haven't even seen a rated "R" movie. The most trouble Ive ever been in was detention for being late to school too many times. I swear, I'm a good girl. Our families hate each other and there is no way they would support our marriage right now... Or ever, really. I feel horrible for doing it if it's wrong. But is it wrong if he's the only person who will ever know me this way? Was God only talking to promiscuous people who didn't love each other? Does He see that we want marriage and happiness and to raise children to live like him? If it is wrong and I repent and continue to wait until marriage, will He forgive me, or is it too late and I'm condemned? Help, please. If someone answers.... Thank you. I need it. |
Bible Answer: Dear Quiet One, This is Mrs.Justme responding to your note. My heart ached when my husband showed me your very vulnurable plea for compassion and counsel. So I have chosen to reach out to you dear,without any condemnation.You do not sound stupid or childish! I wish there were many more like you that would take the time to inquire of the Lord and the community of Christian believers! The delima you are facing as a true believer in Christ Jesus may be common but your response to it will indeed have immeasurable consequences that will shape the rest of your life and his. I highly commend you for taking this time to critically reflect upon your actions! This web site may not NORMALLY be comfortable dealing directly with counseling you in this type of situation. However, Scripture given without teaching application and fundamental understanding is mere empty data and stastical knowledge! Full discussion of the fundamental doctrines and beliefs of our faith IN PRACTICAL APPLICATION is the most basic of our Christian responsibilities! We THANK YOU for allowing us and giving us the privilege to minister to you in this way! So, with respect, mercy and sincere compassion I will ask you these following multiple questions: Is your boyfriend a truly born-again Christian? How long has he been a Christian and you? Are you involved in a Bible-believing church? The Lord expects His children to WANT to grow in holiness through faith, obedience, witness and service to our Lord? Does your relationship with this man promote and encourage these behaviors and character qualities within you AND him? If you BOTH are really true Believers in the teachings and commandments of our Lord Jesus Christ then your responses to this life test is clear. Regardless of the family differences and the lack of support for your relationship, as Christians your covenant marriage could be in the Lord's hands and could be blessed. If the family differences is because THEY are NOT Christian and you BOTH are, then their distain for your relationship is understandable and the Lord will help you through that. If either of your lives are threatened by your decision to marry (your family is Muslim and HIS is NOT?), then I would indeed move from the area in secret. If he is from a Muslim family, I would NOT even consider marriage because under the Muslim beliefs, once you marry into a Muslim family, you BECOME Muslim. DO NOT MARRY! I must also ask the question, if your parents ARE Christian and they strongly disagree with your relationship with him, do they have GOOD REASON for their concern? Often times Christian parents CAN see deeply concerning characteristics in a person that their child cannot perceive clearly or refuses to because they are in love or in lust. I must also warn you that I know this to be very true of all marriages: if you both do not have the blessings of your parents then you will face some very painful family-conflicts that do NOT get resolved without the Lord's intervention! When you marry...you indeed marry the FAMILY ALSO!!! Do not let anyone fool you into thinking otherwise! Do you have your Pastor's blessing? Are you of two totally different doctrinal faiths or religions? If so, you are possibly unequally yoked. For an example: a Amish marrying a Baptist would have a basic foundation of fundamental faith. However, a Mormon marrying a Baptist would not because Mormonism is a cult. Now, for the most difficult question of your heart: If your boyfriend is NOT a Christian, then you MUST end the relationship and truly TRUST the Lord to provide a Christian husband for you in the future. Dear Quiet One, You have been missionary-dating! Hoping that he will become Christian enough to make it acceptable to your family?! I have known too many situations where either the guy or girl pretend and play like a Christian (even getting baptised!) but do NOT really believe! Those type of relationships brought unbearable heartache to many! This is truly a time of your faith being tested! Will you obey the Lord's command NOT to be unequally-yoked with an unbeliever in a marriage-covenant?(II Corinthians 6:14)? I plead with you to read II Peter 1:1-21, and the entire book of James. Please forgive my lengthly answer. The longer I thought and prayed about answering you, the more I could not answer quickly or without many questions for you, that only YOUR soul can answer! I welcome your response.Further preparation reading for a Christian Marriage:Starting Your Marriage Right by Dennis and Barbara Rainey; Living Together, Myths, Risks and Answers by Mike and Harriet McManus. Blessings and my prayers are with you! Mrs. Justme |