Bible Question: I was raised to save for the future. and not to waste things..I have a comfortable home, food in the cupboards and i am not in fear of my utilities being suspended because i pay my bills and always have..(by no means am i wealthy) I have a friend who has been wastefull all her life... as it turns out (now that we are in our 60s) my friend needs a place to live... a few instsnces of our relationship are...she smokes, i dont..when she is a little short on money, she borrows from me. (5-10 dollars) but doesnt pay me back...(I feel I should not have to remind her so it usually goes unpaid) (its just a few bucks and i really dont "Need" it but i want it)(I feel she is wasting what she has and mine too) I usually have two or three hundred dollars a month more than her..When she comes to my house to visit. I tell her to smoke out on the back porch.. she says "oh, I forgot" and smokes on the front porch (the other day, i pulled in the drivway and she was smoking in the front and she went to the back befor i got out of my car) .. she said " Oh I remembered when I saw you so I went to the back,, I dont believe her.. the back porch isnt as comefortable or as easily accessable as the front ..it's such a little thing but it's my house. i feel like i am being rediculous about something so trivil.. but it bothers me that my friend cant take the time to remember this when i tell her EVERYTIME... and I have 1 small marble top table.. i have had to "remind" her not to put her drinks on the marble... then she says "Oh .Sorry, I forgot".. this has come up 3 times now and i dont know if she really does not remember or it is disrespect or lazyness... another thing that is stuck in my head that keeps me from wanting to help my friend is..my friend had a full pack of cigaretts and when another friend came over who also smokes.. the first friend bummed his last smoke, and she knew it was his last cigarette,, the second friend didnt know she had a full pack inside but ..i did ..and i thought it was wrong and selfishness and she took advantage of the other person...last month i offered my girlfriend a room for 2 month in my home, until she could get on her feet, something came up and she didnt take me up on the offer..i was actually relieved.. now she has been leaving voicemails for 2 days in a panic because now she wants the room.. another thing i have to consider is my husband really doesnt want her here but says to "do what i want".. It feels like the the fable of grasshopper and the ant.. I feel in my heart that since i have more than her.. (even extra) I am being selfish..yet. I also know I have been a good friend who has been there for her in times of need... after about 2 days of constantly being around this woman i start feeling used and last time she was here for 4 days i pretended to be ill just so that I wouldnt have to face her.. I do not have what it takes to sit down and discuss every little thing that bugs me about her because i have told her befor and something like this is just too hard to do without someone being hurt..as it is... I have the empty room and she wants it again...if i thought i was just being selfish i would put up with her and let her move in but, since i feel she (probably un-intentually) uses me..i just dont know what to do.. i have prayed over this but i am still confused.. really, I feel like such an ogre not to want to give to my needy friend but again i dont feel i should have to walk around my own home. picking up after her and feeling used....but she needs me |
Bible Answer: Greetings, I hope you receive this in the same love and truth by which it is sent. Just as Christ faced issues that confronted him while he was residing on this earth we must due likewise. Christ faced problems head on with the doctrine that he had residing in His soul. We must do the same with the Bible doctrine that we have metabolized through the imperative command to study the Word so that we won’t be ashamed when problems arise. 2 Tim. 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. When we have to use others as our crutch to stabilize us in our decisions it signifies a glitch in our Christian way of life. The studyBibleForum is in place to help provide Biblical answers to Biblical question not provide counseling to the participants who utilize the forum. If believers can’t withstand the charge of the mosquito what will be their demise when the charge of the elephant comes? Matthew 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. 1 Cor. 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. We bear up under the pressures of life by claiming many of the “seven thousand promises” that God has for us along with His guarantee of there fulfillment. God’s Word can handle all of our problems but just like food on the shelf of a grocery store it doesn’t do us any good until we eat it and digest it. Many times God sends us trials to test us, i.e. if we are residing in His strength or depending on our own energy of the flesh. Have a good day, CDBJ |