Bible Question: Hi, my name is James and this is my story. I've been dating this female for going on three years and through them three years its been arguement after arguement, not everyday but at least once a week. Before I met Angela I just got out of prison and while I was in prison I studied and prayed. I am a born again Christian now when I met her she was a sunday christian and all through the weekday she was living for herself but, I believe God made us meet and every since then she has changed her view about her lifestyle and recommited her life to God. But through these years we've broken up, made up, broken up, made up. I've prayed to God about the situation and this is where I'm confused becuase I ask Him what shall I do in this situation and sometimes I get the feeling that He says, leave her and other times be with her. Now I know God is not a God of confusion and we have commited sexual sins and as a result we got a baby when not married. I have asked her to marry me and she said, yes we haven't got married yet. Right now we are broke up.......What do I do, I do love her and she love me, we just get into so many arguements about petty stuff. I wasn't supposed to have any kids by a surgery that I had, and I always told myself if a female that I am with have my child thats who I'm going to marry. That was at age 15 when I had that surgery and I had my daughter at age 29 Im 30 now |
Bible Answer: Hi James, This is a very serious issue both in your Life as well as Angela's. Any advise you get from the forum should be only considered and not the basis for your decision. If you are in church, talk to your pastor and/or an elder in the church for guidance. You have already acknowledged that your sexual relationship outside of marriage was (is?) sinful. I would say plainly that this must stop if you are to be in the will of God. Refer to 1 Corinthians chapter one, read the whole chapter. This will give a lot of insight regarding God's expectations regarding man and woman and marriage. There are other references elswhere in this chapter and other chapters/books of the bible. Regarding the continuous fighting. First let me say that you can not pray for and expect God to bless a sinful relationship. It might be possible that much of the contention is because God is not putting His peace on a relationship between two professing Christians because there is sexual imorality involved. Remember, we are all sinners. Sin alone isn't the issue. It's the continuing life-style of sin without true repentance that grieves God. You can have a significant-other relationship with Angela without marrying or until married, however, it must be within the boundaries taught in scripture. God can bless such a relationship. One more thing. Where there is divisiveness and contention in any relationship I think it's important to keep one primary verse in mind as the man in the relationship: 1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Although you are not married, the idea of "giving honor" to the woman is still applicable. If you love her, you should treat her with honor. Ask the Lord to change you first and behave differently toward her. You may be very surprised by her response though it may be slow in coming. Hope this is helpful Jeff |
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