Bible Question:
After review about adulty and remariage, I would like to have information about when the adultering spouses get married. That is, my former wife was adultering with a married man and they each got divorced, breaking up two families and then married together. They are Catholic and for a while not allowed in the church (communion) but then were allowed back. Here is my take on the situation. Each adultering spouse did wrong and would be individually forgiven. But forgiveness comes by repenting. One cannot steal, ask for and receive forgiveness and then return to stealing only to expect forgiveness again. It is the knowledge of the wrong that makes the sin. In this case, forgiveness is given with repentance, but repentance includes stopping the behavior that one is forgiven for. Their marriage is living in sin now, because they have not stopped the sin. By my read of the bible, two adultering spouses that marry are always living in sin, even if they ask for forgiveness it will not be given untill the sin is stopped. This greatly affected my life and the other spouse. Both of us had children. She (my former wife) developed a hate for me (while with the other men) and I never forgave her for the adultry, having married (one of) the other man. My son (28 years ago) was pulled emotionally and when she stopped my visitation, I sat on my rights and allowed them to do full parenting. I considered he would be more harmed by the constant arguement and acquiesced to being cut off from my child (with the knowledge they both had professional jobs and not hardship). I believed that as an adult, when that time came, he would be more prepared to understand the reasoning behind my decision. They moved across the country and got my parential rights disolved and adopted him at age 17, changing his name to that of the adultering man, all legal but against my protest. At age 25 I began seeking contact with him but to no avail. He's now 33 and will not communicate with me at all. The year upon year of his mother and her husband living in sin has hardened his heart. At the time, I did what I had to do to limit the stress on him. I did not like it and now wonder if I was wrong and that he will never return. His mom and her husband are always near him to reinforce the years of hate they instilled in him. I simply pray that god gives him the wisdom to understand that his hate to me is misguided. TJS |
Bible Answer: TJS, first I would like to welcome you to the forum. Reading your post, you are asking about the sin of adultery. Before I even attempt to discuss that topic, I'm concerned about a statement you made. "I never forgave her for the adultery" You have been deeply hurt by this act and have personally experienced how destructive sin can be, not only to an individual, but to a whole family. Forgiveness is a key part in this issue. We are told by the Bible that we are to forgive those that sin against us. COL 3:13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. MT 6:14 “ For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. MT 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. MK 11:25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. Once you have worked through the forgiveness, then the healing can start to take place. I would encourage you to seek some counseling from a Godly Pastor. Finding condemnation for your ex-wife will not solve the issues you are dealing with. Only the healing of the Holy Spirit working to mend a broken, trampled on heart can help you find the joy of Christ. Brad |