Subject: Is it ever o.k. to say no to a brother |
Bible Note: kalos: great answer! I have to admit, your example concerning grown children hit a little too close to home for me. I think as a mother it's especially difficult to stifle that desire to shelter our kids, even from their bad choices. (And even harder when the fate of our grandchildren is involved) And though I struggle with this issue, you gave some excellent advice on this and helping people in general. I think both of your principles regarding (1) creating dependency and (2) interfering in God's instruction, go hand in hand. These are definitely areas where we need to exercise great caution. I would like to add a couple of thoughts: 1) Pray for those in need. Ask God what He would have you do to help them (if anything). For some people, it's easier to give money as a quick fix than it is to come along side a person and help them look for long term solutions to financial problems. In other words, it's easier to give of our money than it is to give of our time. (Example: could you provide reliable transportation to someone who is unable to work due to lack of transportation? Could you provide emergency babysitting services? Help them find affordable transportation or childcare if you are unable to offer those things?) 2) Don't be disheartened if you give to someone and discover you have been taken advantage of. God may use your gift to change their heart or He may use it to bless yours (and teach you wisdom in discernment in the process). Anything is possible with God! However, we don't have to see what He's doing to know that He is working. I'd rather err on the side of giving than withholding. hisown_07: you asked about taking money that was meant to pay an obligation and using it to help another person. It seems like the obvious answer would be "no" when in reality it may depend upon many variables. Here are a couple: a) Are others depending upon you (ie., spouse, children) to meet these obligations? I believe God would have us make those dependent upon us for their care our first priority. (Insert Scripture here. Anyone?) However, b) Is the other person's need a true emergency? (Unexpected illness, loss of job, car repairs causing them to face dire circumstances? Or has laziness or foolish spending brought them to this point?) If it is a true emergency and helping them would put you in somewhat dire circumstances, you might need to help them seek other sources of aid. If it is a true emergency and helping them would be an inconvenience in some way (having to pay late fees on the earmarked bill) or would cause you to put in a few extra hours at work, then I would say the decision would be based on how much you believe that you should help this person. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Carefully weigh all the factors. Just as carefully, pray for godly wisdom and direction. Sorry this was so long! It was my first post and I got carried away! Karen (Mrs. Doc) |