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NASB | 1 John 1:1 What was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the Word of Life-- |
AMPLIFIED 2015 | 1 John 1:1 [I am writing about] what existed from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the Word of Life [the One who existed even before the beginning of the world, Christ]-- |
Subject: Salvation is of the Lord... |
Bible Note: Jrdoc, you are obviously well educated regarding these topics. I don't need to know all the nuts and bolts of it all right now, I just want to be saved. One Sunday three years ago, I woke up happy, with the thought "Go to church". So I did. I went to a small non-denominational church because I knew the pastor a little through a mutual friend. I didn't go in that day, but I did manage enough courage to go inside and grab a bulletin. I called him and met with him soon after. We had a 3 hr conversation in which I told him that I wasn't sure if Jesus was real or not, but if I found out that He was, I would follow Him the rest of my life. I did a lot of reading. Some books on apologetics. I read the bible looking for proofs. I spent many hours reading and asking questions. When I saw an apparant contradiction, I asked about it. I'm not an educated man, but I've never found anything that convinces me that Jesus isn't who He says He is. There are some things in 1 John taht I can say I believe. One, that Jesus is the Son of God. It also says some things I'm not sure I have, like love for others. I can't say I'm not free of hatred. I've had people tell me that I'm going to be a preacher. I've had people prophesy over me and say that I'm going to be the spiritual father of many. There have been other s as well. They are encouraging to me, but they never end the uncertainty I have in my heart. I know that salvation is all from the Lord, from begining to end. I've read so many different opinions on the how's and why's of salvation it makes my head spin. All I want is to be saved, to be born again. To be able to believe. To be sure. I know it's by faith from first to last. Why do I doubt so much. Why can't I believe. People tell me all you have to do is put your trust in Christ. I try, but I can't get away from the nagging suspicion that it's not finished. I believe that if it was finished, I would know. I believe the Lord would let me know that it was. That He wouldn't let me go on suffering like this, wondering whether I was or not. I know that God requires that we trust him, like Abraham did, despite the evidence to the contrary. Maybe He wants me to believe without having any evidence too. It's the only thing I haven't done yet. Surrender to not knowing. I apologize if I've gone over the boundaries of this forum. I just can't put this to rest. It's all I think about. It disturbs my sleep. I know now that I haven't committed an unforgiveable sin. I'm grateful for that relief. I just want this fear to be replaced by the Joy of Salvation. That the Lord would create a new heart in me. It's getting late, and I forget this is not a private e-mail. Forgive me. |