What about an abusif husband?
If a wife has done everything she can think of to please her husband and continues to be verbally abused and insulted in front of their children. Is it OK to seek separation? 15year married! They went to councelling and husband was found to be verbally abusif, controlling, easily angered and very quick to blame everyone including brothers and sisters who want nothing to do with him. He says that God fixed him but continues to scream and insults.
Bible Answer: Greetings paulie and welcome to the forum,
Eph 5:21 says that a husband and wife should "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ". This is talking of a godly relationship not one where one party is abusive to the other. Christ's relationship to the church was one of servanthood of all who followed Him and He gave Himself up for them. Never did He order people around, threaten, hit or frighten them.
Another scripture Col 3:19 says that husbands are to love their wives and do not be harsh with them. If the man is not fulfilling his responsibility or obligation as a husband the wife is not obligated to be a dorrmat for him. Jesus does not expect a woman to stay and tolerate the abuse. The wife's obligation is to provide for her safety and the safety of the children.
In any sort of abuse, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, the children are subjected to that abuse and will pay the price later in life if not at the present. In addition if the abuse cycle is not ended it will continue through the children to their spouses. It is better to remove them from the abuse rather than to allow them to be harmed. She is accountable to God for her children and the way they are raised.
I am assuming that since this is a 15 year marriage that the children are older children. Children are vulnerable. They will desperately need counceling too. Nothing creates anger in children as quickly as abuse by parents or parent to parent abuse. Abuse in any form is a vicious cycle that needs to be stopped.
Encourage this woman to seek Christian counceling. If intuitively she does not want to speak to her own pastor then there is probably good reason. If the pastor encourages her to be a "better wife" or to stay where she is at or even to lift up the abuse to the Lord (remaining where she is) then this person will not be a good resource for her. Remember ministers ususally have not received any formal training on the subject and have no comprehension about what she is going through.
It is a good idea to contact a shelter for abused women. They will have different names for people who will be able to help.
May God Give this woman courage and strength in her time of trial. prayon