|Bible Question (short): Struggling with a divorce
Question (full): I have been reading the many posts regarding divorce. However, I have not really found what I was looking for. This is what I am struggling with. Let me begin with saying that my husband and I have already divorced. We were dating for almost 11yrs before we married, we had a child out of wed-lock and prior to her birth we did live together in sin. It was a very difficult relationship, I had 2 children from a previous marriage and he had 1. The children living with us full time. We were both married very young. There was a great deal of emotional hurt in our relationship. We finally decided to marry, thinking we had resolved our issues and agreed to seek help is we did have an issue. About 2 weeks into our marriage we had our first disagreement regarding my son. I would say he pretty much emotionally left the marriage after that. 4 weeks later he moved out of the home with his son. The seperation was very difficult, he never laid a hand on me, but the things he said to me were so hurtful. Sometimes I think it would have been better if he had. And sadly the children were witness to a lot of our drama. Later he came to me and wanted to seek help, I was unsure of wanting to reconcile. Finally I agreed to attend a Christain based counciling. I was very guarded. In the time that we had seperated, he had gotten involved with church. Having said that he was saved and was trying to live differently. At some point he told me that he was spending time with a woman, our councelor told him that he was commiting adultry by doing that. Needless to say the counciling really didn't seem to be getting anywhere. Finally, he filed for divorce, I didn't try to stop him. After he filed for divorce I refuse to go to counceling anymore. We continued to speak about our marriage and he told me that this woman was a temptation to him. At some point he was worried about being the one who was filing for the divorce, the divorce went through, and he called his attorney and tried to get her to cancel it. I told him not to bother. He said that now it me not him who had done the divorcing. The other thing he said was that I was a non believer and that I had divorced him. I am not a non believer. He has since told me that I wants to be married to me but that I have to change before he would remarry me. He says that I have to be where he is religiously, I have to change the way I had money and my children. He says he has changed but I still remain guarded. Most recently we were having a discussion regarding our relationship and he became angry, then began to curse at me, calling me terrible names. Emotionally, I can not take anymore from this man. He does not pick up our daughter on his visitation time, and tries to make me feeling guilty for him having to support her. I tried suggesting us perhaps starting a friendship and seeing where that leads us, but again we ran into a problem. Each of us has a friend of the opposite sex, he does not want to spending time with my friend, however he has choosen to keep spending time with his. He said all I had to do was tell him to stop his friendship with her and he would. I feel that is something he must choose to do. We tried the friendship thing for a little while but he was getting too attached and wanted to be a couple and I was still to afraid to take that step. So he decided that we should break all ties and move on. So, does this all mean that I am never to marry again (although that is the last thing on my mind)? Are all my children unclean due to the divorce?(my first husband divorced me, after I asked him to leave. He had been going to topless bars for a long time and when I found out I asked himt to leave) Can uncleaned children be cleaned? Will God forgive me for allowing the divorce? I felt is was best for me emotionally as well as my children. Thank you for you advice, I know I went a bit long.