Prior Book | Prior Chapter | Prior Verse | Next Verse | Next Chapter | Next Book | Viewing NASB and Amplified 2015 | |
NASB | 1 Kings 19:4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, "It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers." |
AMPLIFIED 2015 | 1 Kings 19:4 But he himself traveled a day's journey into the wilderness, and he came and sat down under a juniper tree and asked [God] that he might die. He said, "It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers." |
Bible Question:
I have been depressed off and on for the last few months and lately been thinking of killing myself, even though I won't do it. I know it would displease the Lord and that I need to stay here to for my children and husband. But I really don't want to go on living sometimes. To find Elijah feeling the same way is something of a comfort to me. Reading this chapter encouraged me. What I was wondering about this specific verse is, does Elijah say he is no better than his fathers because he recogizes that his depression does not please the Lord, that it shows his lack of faith? Is he filled with shame and self loathing? I think he might be, since it is just like our enemy, the accuser of the brethren, to tepmt us and then accuse us and tell us how unworthy of God's love we are when we fall. Tell me what you think. |
Bible Answer: This may or may not help. After the loss of a loved one, I spent a year in a highly depressed state. I hid it from my husband and children, but there wasn't a day I didn't cry. I'd go so far to say there wasn't a minute of the day that I wasn't cognizant of this fact or my loss. I knew that I should ask someone for help with my grief , but I was too embarrassed. I really believe that God relates to our sorrows and understands them better than we do ourselves. I think at my lowest point, I apologized to God but in my mind I had to hand over my sorrows to Him to carry. I couldn't do it anymore. I find it amazing that you can cry everyday for a year and never run out of tears. He took my sorrow and gave me peace of heart in return. There is an end to sorrow. And killing yourself is not the answer. Since I don't know what is bothering you that makes you so sad, I have no idea if this helps. I hope it does. I'm a very shy person and have trouble reaching out to people. I really think God wants us to reach out to others in times of need. Ironically I find it harder to admit my problems to my family than to strangers on an internet forum. I'm praying for you to be strong through whatever is troubling you and that you find the help you need. I do believe God will take it from you, but sometimes it's a guessing game as to how He is going to take it. It may be directly through Him or He may lead you to someone else. |