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Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Answers, Unanswered Bible Questions, Notes Ordered by Verse | ||||||
Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | Is it ever o.k. to say no to a brother | Bible general Archive 2 | hisown_07 | 125697 | ||
When it comes to 1 John 3:19 - If you have this world's goods and see that your brother hath a need... My question is, does this apply at all times. Is there ever a time when we should not give? Do you think it is o.k. to give money that is marked for your rent or for a particular bill to a brother even if it may mean getting behind or losing a particular service? What about when you know that something that someone has need of could have been obtained by them but neglected to do what could have been done to get it fairly easily? What about if you know their neglect to do is a consistent one. Is it ever wrong to decline giving but instead giving good and feasable advice on how to get it and, or helping them to get it. | ||||||
2 | Is it ever o.k. to say no to a brother | Bible general Archive 2 | kalos | 125698 | ||
hisown_07: We need to exercise wisdom and discernment in determining when to give to others and when not to. There are many things to take into consideration when deciding when to give. Here are two principles to be mindful of. 1. Whenever you do for someone else what they could do for themselves, all you do is create dependency. 2. I've heard it taught that we ought not to interfere too much in the lives of others. The reason is that, as we all know, God uses trials to discipline us for our own good. When we try to rescue others out of their trials and troubles, we may be interfering with what God is trying to teach them. This is not to say that we should never help anyone or that we should just ignore them and let them suffer. An example of this principle is when parents are always trying to bail out their adult children, always trying to spare them the consequences of their own decisions. Far better to let the adult children learn to accept the consequences of their decisions and take responsibility for themselves. Even in our own lives, we sometimes feel troubled and discontented. At those times, the natural desire is to go to the mall, eat at a restaurant, go for a drive -- just get out of the house and stay busy doing something we enjoy. But sometimes that may not be the best thing to do. There are times when we should stay home, turn the TV off, and get alone with God -- reading the Word, praying and seeking God. Grace to you, kalos |
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3 | Is it ever o.k. to say no to a brother | Bible general Archive 2 | Hiskid84 | 125745 | ||
kalos: great answer! I have to admit, your example concerning grown children hit a little too close to home for me. I think as a mother it's especially difficult to stifle that desire to shelter our kids, even from their bad choices. (And even harder when the fate of our grandchildren is involved) And though I struggle with this issue, you gave some excellent advice on this and helping people in general. I think both of your principles regarding (1) creating dependency and (2) interfering in God's instruction, go hand in hand. These are definitely areas where we need to exercise great caution. I would like to add a couple of thoughts: 1) Pray for those in need. Ask God what He would have you do to help them (if anything). For some people, it's easier to give money as a quick fix than it is to come along side a person and help them look for long term solutions to financial problems. In other words, it's easier to give of our money than it is to give of our time. (Example: could you provide reliable transportation to someone who is unable to work due to lack of transportation? Could you provide emergency babysitting services? Help them find affordable transportation or childcare if you are unable to offer those things?) 2) Don't be disheartened if you give to someone and discover you have been taken advantage of. God may use your gift to change their heart or He may use it to bless yours (and teach you wisdom in discernment in the process). Anything is possible with God! However, we don't have to see what He's doing to know that He is working. I'd rather err on the side of giving than withholding. hisown_07: you asked about taking money that was meant to pay an obligation and using it to help another person. It seems like the obvious answer would be "no" when in reality it may depend upon many variables. Here are a couple: a) Are others depending upon you (ie., spouse, children) to meet these obligations? I believe God would have us make those dependent upon us for their care our first priority. (Insert Scripture here. Anyone?) However, b) Is the other person's need a true emergency? (Unexpected illness, loss of job, car repairs causing them to face dire circumstances? Or has laziness or foolish spending brought them to this point?) If it is a true emergency and helping them would put you in somewhat dire circumstances, you might need to help them seek other sources of aid. If it is a true emergency and helping them would be an inconvenience in some way (having to pay late fees on the earmarked bill) or would cause you to put in a few extra hours at work, then I would say the decision would be based on how much you believe that you should help this person. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Carefully weigh all the factors. Just as carefully, pray for godly wisdom and direction. Sorry this was so long! It was my first post and I got carried away! Karen (Mrs. Doc) |
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