Results 1 - 4 of 4
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Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Answers, Unanswered Bible Questions, Notes Ordered by Verse | ||||||
Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | What about physical attraction? | 1 John 2:16 | Orange | 184306 | ||
Thanks Tim. Please allow me to go deeper on this thought. A source of tension in my marriage is around the physical fitness of my spouse. I'm attracted to women who are fit, and when my wife doesn't take the time to keep her shape, then my eyes start to wander. This got me started on thinking about the spiritual foundation for beauty. Is it right to be 'attracted' to my wife because of her looks? (PLease note that this is not the only thing that I'm attracted to in her, but for this subject, lets focus on that). If I'm to be 'enthralled' with her at all times, and if my physical desire for her is a godly (meaning that God made it), then when she falls out of shape and my physical desire for her wanes, how do I reconcile that? Should I put to death my physical desires and be content with what I have, even though my eyes are more prone to wandering? I'd like to keep my eyes on her instead, but this is sometimes difficult. |
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2 | What about physical attraction? | 1 John 2:16 | jonp | 184318 | ||
Hi, I am going to speak very plainly for I can see that you are eyeing up the tree of knowing good and evil and I am a little concerned for you. The first thing that we have to recognise is that Jesus clearly taught that when a man and woman marry they are one for life unless there is adultery, and that regardless of their sexual attraction for each other. Of course in Jesus' day men and women were often not able to choose their partners. They had to put up with what they got. But this made no difference to God's requirement. While I consider that your wife should be in Christian submission and should thus seek to do what pleases you, just as you should be seeking to do what pleases her, nevertheless we cannot allow, a failure to do this to cancel out the greater commandment. To let your eyes wander will be to make you a spiritual adulterer. That is unquestionable. Modern man lays too much emphasis on his rights to this and that. But as Christians we have no rights. We have handed them over to Jesus Christ. What about Jesus' rights? Being attracted to each other in marriage is a bonus. But not being so does not affect the underlying priciple that two have been made one in God's eyes for life. Building up theories which Scripture knows nothing about will not countermand that, and however soothing they may sound they are clearly wrong if they go against God's clear commandment. As the text which you began with points out what you are talking about is not of the Father but is of the world. You talk as though being attracted to women who are fit is OK. But it is not of the Father, but is of the world. What is of the Father is that you should be wholly given over to serving Him and that includes ensuring that you maintain your Christian love for the woman you have married, even if the 'attraction' fails. If she sadly lets herself go, and you have my full sympayhies, that does not affect God's spiritual requirement for you which is paramount. So no excuse or web of clever thinking can release you from your basic obligation in God's eyes. That way leads to shipwreck. Best wishes Jonp |
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3 | What about song of Soloman? | 1 John 2:16 | Orange | 184352 | ||
First of all, I very much appreciate the 'straightforwardness' of your post. I myselfe do not wish to walk in deciet, and so I don't wish to have answers that are just meant to make me feel better but do not help. Allow me to further my question. Concerning the 'wandering of the eyes', I have long felt that its a difficult situation: On the one hand, when I put to death the urges of the flesh, then I find no familiarity with the passion that was talked about in Song of Soloman (and therefore find no urge to dote on my wife that way that she likes to be doted on). In my heart, I wind up resisting the tendency to enjoy sex and sexuality the way that I feel God intended. This same 'sexual drive' that allows me to look longfully on my wife is the same element that is restrained, and although I find my struggle with 'wandering eyes' becomes easier to bear, yet my husbandly passion wanes. Then, on the other side, when I indulge in my husbandly pursuit, and revel in the graces that God gave me as a man, I find that my sensual senses are heightened, and my 'eyes' want to pick up on everything feminine. My wife loves the way I enjoy every aspect of her womanhood, yet I suffer in that I find it difficult to control it just towards her, since her body is not as in shape as I would like it to be. As you can see, I feel somewhat trapped between the two. This hasn't yet affected my loyalty towards her in the sense that I am not condoning seperation based on physical appearance. I can slowly see myself pushing her to gain control of her weight, in the hopes that my 'sexual eye' can be focused on her instead. Do you think that this is an unrealistic hope? Advice please. |
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4 | What about song of Soloman? | 1 John 2:16 | mark d seyler | 184354 | ||
Hi Orange, Let's talk about food for a moment. You have before you a platter of soy-veggie cakes, and a plate full of chocolate chip cookies that have been laced with arsenic. One is healthy and nutritious, yet with less apparent appeal. The other is more apparently appealing, but will kill you. What is the correct, healthy response? Learn to like the one that's good for you. Not to stop eating altogether. That "wandering eye" you speak of is adulterous. The way God intends you to enjoy sexuality is with your spouse. Any other use is not approved, and is ultimately harmful. The same Bible that teaches you to mortify the flesh also teaches to render "due benevolence" to your wife. Is she the "one that's not quite good enough"? Or is she the present God gave you? Will you make her pay the price for your lack of control? Or will you see the maturity from God to hold to the good, and shun the evil? Will you take responsibility for your actions? Or will you blame the drive God built into you? You can use it for good or evil, your choice. Love in Christ, Mark |
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