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Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Answers, Unanswered Bible Questions, Notes Ordered by Verse | ||||||
Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | My first Poem, Should I keep my dayjob? | Gen 3:21 | Just Read Mark | 86511 | ||
Hey Scribe: I like it. Especially the 3rd couplet. The last line seems a little ponderous. Heavy handed... How about: "And who is this garden priest of Eden? The lamb, upon whom I'm feedin'." Sorry, that's horrible. "The Lamb that saints believe in." But really, I think it needs another edit on the ending - you really need to nail it. Some ambiguity is Ok --give enough that people can think it through. Until then, well, a day job can give you the freedom to create without compromising ;-) |
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2 | My first Poem, Should I keep my dayjob? | Gen 3:21 | Scribe | 86512 | ||
Thanks Just Read Mark, I appreciate the feedback. |
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