Lockman - Bible questions and answers

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Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Answers, Unanswered Bible Questions, Notes Author: Brr101373 Ordered by Date
Results		Verse	Author	ID#
1	Am I Biblically free to marry?	Not Specified	Brr101373	243732
	Marriage 1 My wife had an affair and moved to another state with her boyfriend. I desparately wanted to reconcile but after two years of zero contact, I filed for divorce. Marriage 2 This marriage lasted twelve years and we had four amazing children. Within the first two years of our marriage, my wife had an affair. I suspected the affair but it was approximately nine years into our marriage that her confession was made. Things were never the same. I was very hurt and bitter but I grew up in a broken home and didn't want that for my children. We were both miserable and often discussed divorce but we both wanted to keep our home together until the kids were out of school. I am not aware of any additional affairs but she was very regularly dishonest with me in other matters. She had battled a pornography addiction that started at an unusually young age and continued in that path. Connecting with her in meaningful, open conversation proved to be hurtful every time. My most private insecurities would be brought up to me by "friends of friends" after trickling down from her. I became very closed off to her and there was an enormous wall between us. The more I shut her out physically and emotionally, the more she became convinced I was having an affair. She told many of our friends that I was. At the time, I was not but I confided in a woman at work who was going through a very difficult time as well. We became very close friends and within six months our friendship had evolved into sexual intimacy. I filed for divorce and pursued this new relationship. Marriage 3 Approximately six months into this marriage, my brother told me about Kyle Idleman's book "Not A Fan". I became immersed in this book and for the first time in my life, I was a follower of Christ. Everything about me was different and I wanted to be the me God created me to be. I remember it hitting me like a ton of bricks. Now what God? What do I do about the marriage I am in? I LOVE this woman but can I expect you to bless a relationship that had ultimatey started as an affair? I was not content with simply justifying what we had done by citing my previous wife's affair. I still had to own up to my sin regardless of her sin. We both apologized to her and asked for forgiveness. She apologized as well and the co- parenting relationship among the three of us prospered as a result. My wife and the children's mother became friends and would even sit together at sporting events etc. Fast forward about a year and a half. My wife's father was pastoring a non- denominational church. He was a "fallen" Assembly of God pastor who had had an affair with and married the worship leader. My wife and I had been going to his church since the beginning of our relationship. He had also served as my counselor through my previous divorce. He was aware of the affair I had with his daughter and supported it. He helped us keep it hidden as we would go out of town on various weekend trips with them. My wife and I were both on staff receiving a weekly check although we did nothing more than show up for church. Many aspects of this church had long been unsettling to me but I ignored the conviction until I no longer could. I prayed with my wife and asked that she be in continuued prayer about us stepping down from our ministry positions for a period of six months. I felt led of the Spirit to do so and that we were to focus on our family and our individual relationships with God. She became deeply offended and agreed that I should, but she would not. Her father took the same position. Our families became very divided but in the end, she became involved with a friend of her dad's. He helped her hide the affair just as he did when he was "on my side". She filed for divorce and soonafter married this man. I seriously had no intentions of ever marrying again. After three failed marriages, you might wonder why I'm even pondering this question. But here I am today. I met an amazing woman who is a widow. We've been together a little over a year and I love her deeply. She recently broke up with me and her reason was that I am not Biblically free to marry. At this point, it is my understanding she is dating someone else and I have no expectations of her changing her mind. I respect her convictions and I respect her interpretation of scripture. This question is for me. I do feel absolute peace about marrying again. Have I deceived myself?
2	Am I Biblically free to marry?	Bible general	Brr101373	243733
	Marriage 1 My wife had an affair and moved to another state with her boyfriend. I desparately wanted to reconcile but after two years of zero contact, I filed for divorce. Marriage 2 This marriage lasted twelve years and we had four amazing children. Within the first two years of our marriage, my wife had an affair. I suspected the affair but it was approximately nine years into our marriage that her confession was made. Things were never the same. I was very hurt and bitter but I grew up in a broken home and didn't want that for my children. We were both miserable and often discussed divorce but we both wanted to keep our home together until the kids were out of school. I am not aware of any additional affairs but she was very regularly dishonest with me in other matters. She had battled a pornography addiction that started at an unusually young age and continued in that path. Connecting with her in meaningful, open conversation proved to be hurtful every time. My most private insecurities would be brought up to me by "friends of friends" after trickling down from her. I became very closed off to her and there was an enormous wall between us. The more I shut her out physically and emotionally, the more she became convinced I was having an affair. She told many of our friends that I was. At the time, I was not but I confided in a woman at work who was going through a very difficult time as well. We became very close friends and within six months our friendship had evolved into sexual intimacy. I filed for divorce and pursued this new relationship. Marriage 3 Approximately six months into this marriage, my brother told me about Kyle Idleman's book "Not A Fan". I became immersed in this book and for the first time in my life, I was a follower of Christ. Everything about me was different and I wanted to be the me God created me to be. I remember it hitting me like a ton of bricks. Now what God? What do I do about the marriage I am in? I LOVE this woman but can I expect you to bless a relationship that had ultimatey started as an affair? I was not content with simply justifying what we had done by citing my previous wife's affair. I still had to own up to my sin regardless of her sin. We both apologized to her and asked for forgiveness. She apologized as well and the co- parenting relationship among the three of us prospered as a result. My wife and the children's mother became friends and would even sit together at sporting events etc. Fast forward about a year and a half. My wife's father was pastoring a non- denominational church. He was a "fallen" Assembly of God pastor who had had an affair with and married the worship leader. My wife and I had been going to his church since the beginning of our relationship. He had also served as my counselor through my previous divorce. He was aware of the affair I had with his daughter and supported it. He helped us keep it hidden as we would go out of town on various weekend trips with them. My wife and I were both on staff receiving a weekly check although we did nothing more than show up for church. Many aspects of this church had long been unsettling to me but I ignored the conviction until I no longer could. I prayed with my wife and asked that she be in continuued prayer about us stepping down from our ministry positions for a period of six months. I felt led of the Spirit to do so and that we were to focus on our family and our individual relationships with God. She became deeply offended and agreed that I should, but she would not. Her father took the same position. Our families became very divided but in the end, she became involved with a friend of her dad's. He helped her hide the affair just as he did when he was "on my side". She filed for divorce and soonafter married this man. I seriously had no intentions of ever marrying again. After three failed marriages, you might wonder why I'm even pondering this question. But here I am today. I met an amazing woman who is a widow. We've been together a little over a year and I love her deeply. She recently broke up with me and her reason was that I am not Biblically free to marry. At this point, it is my understanding she is dating someone else and I have no expectations of her changing her mind. I respect her convictions and I respect her interpretation of scripture. This question is for me. I do feel absolute peace about marrying again. Have I deceived myself?

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