Results 1 - 4 of 4
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Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Answers, Unanswered Bible Questions, Notes Ordered by Verse | ||||||
Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | Am I guilty if I leave my husband? | 1 Cor 7:13 | dr01871 | 138086 | ||
I am a newly wed. My husband and I are in our late 30’s and are in our second marriage. I was married the first time to an unbeliever and that marriage dissolved. I remarried because my husband now claimed to be a Christian. The past 11 months of marriage, we’ve been through many trials. Most of which, I find myself doubting him. I believed he was a man of integrity and a follower of God, but weeks later, I discovered he’s not. He lies, visits unclean websites, is secretive about the hours he works or what he’s doing after work, he makes charges to credit cards without my knowledge and accuses me of having interest in other men. I have been and continue to be a faithful, submissive wife. I give him no reasons to doubt me. During some of our heavy discussions, he is beginning to show signs of an abusive husband. We both work full time and I bring in as much money as he does. But, I am penalized if I spend one dollar. I try not to upset him so I don’t buy much, other than groceries. I have two children from my previous marriage, which I receive child support and the same applies for them. I can’t buy them what they need without him making a big deal about it. I carry all the weight at home when it comes to cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, buying groceries, ironing, etc. His only responsibility is to balance the checking account and that is because he wants to be in control of the finances. I cried just about every day because of the way he treats me. He disrespects me by raising his voice, pointing the finger in my face, interrogating me when I come home 5 minutes late, and he questions me on each phone number I dialed or received which is listed on the monthly cell phone statement. He has prohibited from speaking to the opposite sex. Since the day after we married, I found myself crying every day because of the treatment I received from him. I always treat him as my King, ensuring all his needs are met. I’ve discussed these issues with him and he recognizes them, and promises to correct them, but he only pacifies me. There’s been no change. These trials have made me seek the Lord more each day. I’ve never been as strong in faith like now. I pray daily for my marriage and asked the Lord for strength and guidance He answered my prayer. It’s been 2 weeks and I don’t cry anymore. However, I am planning to leave my husband. I need advice. Am I free to leave this marriage without guilt? I don’t want to disobey God. I hope to reconcile but I’d have to see changes within my marriage. I intend to leave my home, but my husband says if we separate, he will file for divorce. | ||||||
2 | Am I guilty if I leave my husband? | 1 Cor 7:13 | JCrichton | 138171 | ||
Hi, dr01871! It is interesting to find that even today the people of God continue to circumvent God's Word! I offer the example of the people of Israel... they brough a woman to Jesus accusing her of committing adultery... they wanted to engage Jesus and to test His abilities... clearly they were following the Law (Mosaic Laws) that demanded that those caught in/discovered to engage in an adulterous relationship be put to death! There was only one flaw in their plan: they only sought to apply the Law to the woman! (John 8:1-11)... Jesus was not condoning adultery (Matthew 5:27-30), He was showing mercy and ignoring their unjust application of the Law! Conversely, today's Christians want the females to be totally subserviant, allowing all sorts of abuse and neglect to go uncontested and uncorrected... that is not Jesus' Command! Notice that when addressing the marital union Christ calls it a union of two bodies becoming one, under God (Matthew 19:4-6); Paul expands on this by further defining the relationship between a husband and his wife: 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29, 31, 33) Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19) In order for your spouse to claim to be a Christian, he must abide by God's standard of spousal obligations... He cannot love you in the Lord if he is constantly assaulting you (physically, emotionally, intellectually, morally, spiritually))... if he does not have your best interests at heart (including your children's welfare: physical, emotional, spiritual), how can he love you as he loves himself (Christ's Command)? How can he claim to be the spiritual head of your household? Our call as Christians is to obey God... not to pick and choose and to apply to others those portions of God's Mandates that suit our egotistical purposes! Sadly, too many women allow their spouses to bankrupt them (spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially), in a mistaken belief that they are pleasing God by allowing the husbands to use and abuse them (and their children)... Love is not selfish nor lacking compassion and humility--any relationship that removes Christ from its center will lack compassion, respect, charity and nurturing... it will only revolved around selfishness, neglect and exploitation! I do caution you not to seek a divorce just to be free to jump into another relationship--it may be time for you to rethink your priorities and to restructure your general perspective on "having that special someone" with whom to share your life; I am not preaching celibacy... but you do have two "special someones" in your life... perhaps you should concentrate in your relationship with the Lord and with your two children, before moving on to a third attempt at marital bliss! God Bless! Angel |
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3 | Am I guilty if I leave my husband? | 1 Cor 7:13 | dr01871 | 138299 | ||
Angel, thanks for your advice. I am in no hurry to leave this relationship and nonetheless to walk into another marriage if this fails. I pray and ask the Good Lord to give me wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I agree, my focus continues to be in honoring and obeying our Heavenly Father and be more attentive to my children. I have made a commitment to the Lord, to marry this man and be with him for better or for worse and till death do us part. I will continue to stand by husband and wait on God. There are many times I want to leave, but my vow before God, keeps me from moving on. All I can do is hope and continue to pray. |
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4 | Am I guilty if I leave my husband? | 1 Cor 7:13 | JCrichton | 138369 | ||
Hi, dr01871! I am glad that your hope and faith is on the Lord! I wish that I could give a simple answer to your problems... but I am confident that you will do the right thing (whether remaining in the marriage or not); my greatest concern is for your (the whole family) spiritual happiness... I will pray for you--hoping to gain God's mercy and quick resolve... You mentioned that lately you find yourself getting closer to the Lord... please continue on this path, remember that He is stronger in you when you are weakest! I suggest that, if not doing yet, you begin a prayer group with your children and close relatives and friends... if they are not aware of the problems you are facing, you do not need to expose yourself or your family... simply as for support in creating a prayer group to ask God for Divine Intervention (don't forget to reciprocate as your relatives and friends may also have need of a special prayer group!)... If you have access to counseling in your church, please take advantage of it (as long as you feel comfortable with the person/s offering the service). Technical: Keep a journal of your experience (even if you destroy the pages as you add new material); sometimes writing things down allows us to have a different perspective (much clearer at times) of what is going on (much is said/done in the heat of battle); it could also help you gauge any incidence of abuse (verbal, emotional, physical)... you may combine the journal with the prayer group: by placing, either the original or a copy, the written record into an envelope you can present the sealed envelope to God during your prayer session... it can be an emotional/spiritual cathartic experience. God Bless! Angel |
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