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NASB | 1 Corinthians 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. |
AMPLIFIED 2015 | 1 Corinthians 7:13 And if any [believing] woman has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not leave him. |
Bible Question: I am a newly wed. My husband and I are in our late 30’s and are in our second marriage. I was married the first time to an unbeliever and that marriage dissolved. I remarried because my husband now claimed to be a Christian. The past 11 months of marriage, we’ve been through many trials. Most of which, I find myself doubting him. I believed he was a man of integrity and a follower of God, but weeks later, I discovered he’s not. He lies, visits unclean websites, is secretive about the hours he works or what he’s doing after work, he makes charges to credit cards without my knowledge and accuses me of having interest in other men. I have been and continue to be a faithful, submissive wife. I give him no reasons to doubt me. During some of our heavy discussions, he is beginning to show signs of an abusive husband. We both work full time and I bring in as much money as he does. But, I am penalized if I spend one dollar. I try not to upset him so I don’t buy much, other than groceries. I have two children from my previous marriage, which I receive child support and the same applies for them. I can’t buy them what they need without him making a big deal about it. I carry all the weight at home when it comes to cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, buying groceries, ironing, etc. His only responsibility is to balance the checking account and that is because he wants to be in control of the finances. I cried just about every day because of the way he treats me. He disrespects me by raising his voice, pointing the finger in my face, interrogating me when I come home 5 minutes late, and he questions me on each phone number I dialed or received which is listed on the monthly cell phone statement. He has prohibited from speaking to the opposite sex. Since the day after we married, I found myself crying every day because of the treatment I received from him. I always treat him as my King, ensuring all his needs are met. I’ve discussed these issues with him and he recognizes them, and promises to correct them, but he only pacifies me. There’s been no change. These trials have made me seek the Lord more each day. I’ve never been as strong in faith like now. I pray daily for my marriage and asked the Lord for strength and guidance He answered my prayer. It’s been 2 weeks and I don’t cry anymore. However, I am planning to leave my husband. I need advice. Am I free to leave this marriage without guilt? I don’t want to disobey God. I hope to reconcile but I’d have to see changes within my marriage. I intend to leave my home, but my husband says if we separate, he will file for divorce. |
Bible Answer: Hi, dr01871! It is interesting to find that even today the people of God continue to circumvent God's Word! I offer the example of the people of Israel... they brough a woman to Jesus accusing her of committing adultery... they wanted to engage Jesus and to test His abilities... clearly they were following the Law (Mosaic Laws) that demanded that those caught in/discovered to engage in an adulterous relationship be put to death! There was only one flaw in their plan: they only sought to apply the Law to the woman! (John 8:1-11)... Jesus was not condoning adultery (Matthew 5:27-30), He was showing mercy and ignoring their unjust application of the Law! Conversely, today's Christians want the females to be totally subserviant, allowing all sorts of abuse and neglect to go uncontested and uncorrected... that is not Jesus' Command! Notice that when addressing the marital union Christ calls it a union of two bodies becoming one, under God (Matthew 19:4-6); Paul expands on this by further defining the relationship between a husband and his wife: 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29, 31, 33) Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19) In order for your spouse to claim to be a Christian, he must abide by God's standard of spousal obligations... He cannot love you in the Lord if he is constantly assaulting you (physically, emotionally, intellectually, morally, spiritually))... if he does not have your best interests at heart (including your children's welfare: physical, emotional, spiritual), how can he love you as he loves himself (Christ's Command)? How can he claim to be the spiritual head of your household? Our call as Christians is to obey God... not to pick and choose and to apply to others those portions of God's Mandates that suit our egotistical purposes! Sadly, too many women allow their spouses to bankrupt them (spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially), in a mistaken belief that they are pleasing God by allowing the husbands to use and abuse them (and their children)... Love is not selfish nor lacking compassion and humility--any relationship that removes Christ from its center will lack compassion, respect, charity and nurturing... it will only revolved around selfishness, neglect and exploitation! I do caution you not to seek a divorce just to be free to jump into another relationship--it may be time for you to rethink your priorities and to restructure your general perspective on "having that special someone" with whom to share your life; I am not preaching celibacy... but you do have two "special someones" in your life... perhaps you should concentrate in your relationship with the Lord and with your two children, before moving on to a third attempt at marital bliss! God Bless! Angel |