Bible (Archive 4)

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Bible Question: Is it divisive to do the following?

I observed an Elder of the church respond to a parishioners question about serving on the Executive (Deacon) Board with and absolutely not attitude. He showed no humility nor did he offer guidance or explanation for his "No!! I can't support that. However, he did not advise him to speak to the Elder Board. I was appalled as I stood there and heard the parishioner respond, "I don't take "NO" for an answer always. Then the same Elder mislead me on an issue about a Youth minister in the church. This was done to get me to side with him on removing the minister. Both upset me and on both occassions I lost respect for the Elder. I did not act according to Matthew 18. I let this keep eating at me as I watched what the Elder did. I was appointed Trustee of the church at the time. Later I decided I would talk to the Elder but Ifirst wanted to verify my concerns about the fellow parishioner feeling that he had not been heard or treated fairly. I picked up the phone and called the parishioner to see how he felt about what had occured. He told me he had been upset at the time but he had put it behind him as he did not have time now to serve but he would reconsider that in the future.

I then followed up by speaking to the Elder about both issues. He admitted his personal skills on that occassion were not the best but he did not offer an apology to me nor did he indicate he needed to apologize to the fellow parishioner. He denied in fact that he had mislead me regarding the youth minister. I definitely disagree and I decided to share my aplogy to the youth minister, who had decided to leave the church to the congregation because I had previously advised the congregation that he was not protected under our bylaws and I was mistaken. I was mistaken because I had relied on the information provided by the Elder and did not check it our until afterward. When I talked to previous Elders they had indicated that my information was incorrect. So I decided the apology was necessary in front of the congregation.

However, I have now been charged by the Elder Baord that I am being divisive because I spoke to the parishioner and not the Elder first.

I do not feel that it was meant to be divisive but was out of concern for the parishioner. The Elders feeel differently. I asked for a meeting with the Pastor, the Elder and the Parishioner and it has not been granted. I feel I am being ignored. I want to ask the parishioner in front of the pastor and the Elder if I misunderstood his feelings on the issue or if I isinterpreted what occurred on that day when the three of us were talking.

Bible Answer: ljwsheltonconpi, I'm sorry but this is a Bible study forum, not an advice forum. We are not dispassionate of your problem but ill prepared to deal with it and the (Terms Of Use) make very clear what our gracious sponsors (The Lockman Foundation) intention is, and that is, Bible study. -John