Bible Question: My cousin is 19 years,she is stubborn and knows all.Her biological dad passed away when she was one years old and her mum remarried.She has two elder brothers who are fine,but she is a problem.Party animal,non-obedient,disrespectful and rudely answers back whonever talks to her |
Bible Answer: Dear Tren't Greetings from Yokohama in the name of Jesus! Welcome to the Forum. While it may be true that an internet forum cannot replace true spiritual counseling from a committed shepherd, there ARE some things that must occur in order to bring hope to this situation: In the Lord, there is not any difference between biological and foster father, as long as the child is brought up in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." (KJV) "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 NASB "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart." Colossians 3:21 NASB As has been said, mother and father should be of one mind, one faith, one church, one shepherd, one opinion about child-rearing, and one Lord. Though God is full of grace, every area of disunity, ignorance, and-or confusion is an oppotunity for the enemy to wreak havoc in the home. Another point, according to the above Scriptures, is that fathers (AND mothers!) must recognize that they can (AND DO!) provoke anger in their children. None of this 'I did my best, but...' stuff. We must always humbly admit our weakness and inadequacy before the Lord before He can effectively work in our lives. Otherwise, we run the risk of blaming God for rebellious children. (don't do THAT!) The same goes for when we seek pastoral counsel. You cannot be counseled if you blame the church or pastor for the failure in your home. Go before God and His chosen servant with a contrite heart, and there is ALWAYS hope for renewal of the home. Finally, realize that growing up is HARD! So many Christian parents, in their religious self-righteousness, forget that the teen years are rough. They forget their own rebellion at that age. They forget that we live in a dark age, full of temptation and sin. They also forget that, though they may have made a nice "Christian coccoon" of their lives (nice home, church, and maybe even work atmosphere), they allow their kids to fellowship with the world in movies, TV, the mall, school, etc. And then, they say, "I can't figure out where he-she gets these ideas!" Go figure. My friend, it may seem too late at 19 years old to change the situation, BUT IT IS NOT! First, the parents need pastoral counsel. Next, they must, together, seek reconciliation with this "party animal." If she is still living under their roof, eating their food, wearing their clothes, they must (wisely! patiently!) remind their daughter that they love her, but her actions and attitude are unacceptable. In all these things, they must call upon the name of Jesus for strength. "Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." Colossians 3:17 NASB Blessings and hope to you in Christ Jesus, charis |