Bible Question:
This is something that I've grappled with for a long time. As Christians, we've experienced spiritual growth, either as adults being saved or as children and young adults experiencing the joy of Christ. However, and I'll be blunt, I think we could do a better job raising our children to be followers of Christ. Let me explain: I am not questioning nor bashing anyone's parental skills; I am not saying that such and such or whoever is a "bad parent"; I'm speaking specifically in the church family. As Christians, we have a responsibility to raise our youth, to help guide them and nnourish them, to help support them and influence them positively. Our greatest resource is our children. What pains me sometimes is that I've been to a few churches where the emphasis has NOT been on children. It stinks, and it's the quickest way to iradicate a generation: Not treating our youth the way the God we love and cherish treats HIS. One church that I have been to, it used to be that once you reach a certain age, you were basically considered "on your own". They have made leaps and bounds above that, starting a couple youth young adult ministries, and I feel extremely blessed at watching (and being a part of) them. What do I mean by "on their own"? The number of teens and young adults in a few churches that I have frequented is alarmingly small, and when I inquired about this, their response was mostly "because the church doesn't really help us out". Now, I know I'm making a sweeping generalization, and if your church doesn't act this way, then you won't really be offended by my words (you can give me some insight), and if you are offended, well, you'll get over it, because my purpose is not to offend. I'm not here to smooth anyone's feelings; I'm here to make an observation based on my (albeit limited) experience. My question, then, is this: I'd like for people to chime in and give me an answer to this problem that has worked, or even if they have experienced it before. I'm not just talking about Bible study and church, and maybe a couple of youth events that get the youth involved, but don't give them a forum to relate to, or a church body to grow in. Some people don't know that our youth are not stupid; some have gotten extremely distrustful of people within church, thinking some people are frontin'. And please keep the "well, it doesn't happen at MY church, so there" to a minimum, because it doesn't help out the situation. I'd like to hear everyone's comments on this :-) |
Bible Answer: Dear Brent, I am mother of three (23,22, and 14) and a grandmother of two. Having been in the military and a traveling nurse we have been to many churchs. I hope I will be able to give some suggestion that will be helpful. First - I believe that the most important thing is to pray for youth leaders who will meet the teens at their level and be accepting of them the way they are - no matter how they dress, how much jewelry they wear, what color their hair is or whether it is neatly combed or standing up in spikes. Jesus never cared how someone looked and neither should we. Youth today are seeking love and acceptance. Many don't get either of these at home unfortunitly. The need of these things often is what leads them to gangs and drugs. The church has to be able to meet those needs. Youth leaders have to be able to sincerly care for them and love them. No one can recognize a false front as fast as a teen. They also have to know that they CAN TRUST the leader. That no matter what problem they have they can go to the leader and talk about anything and it will be kept in strict confidence. Usually kids go to friends for advice because they have no one they can trust - wouldn't it be much better if they had someone they could trust that would give them Godly advice? 2nd - You have to make the teens feel a part of the church. They need to be needed. Let them do nursery duty (we always have one teen and one adult), let them usher - (I have seen some 8 and 9 year olds usher better than adults), let them help teach the little ones, let them read the scripture sometimes or say the prayers. Every 5th Sunday of the month we have Youth Sunday. The youth plan the service (with an adult to oversee), pick the speaker, do the praise and worship and run the service. You will be amazed at what they are capable of. 3rd - You have to make church and bible study interesting to them. They have to be able to relate to the sermon or teaching. Nothing can turn my kids off of a church faster than not being able to understand or relate to what is being said. 4th - You have to give them music they enjoy, that will keep them coming back. I like some of the old hymns but very, very few youth do. They want to hear rock or rap or gospel. I used to hate rock but I have learned to enyoy it - still don't like alternative though. :o). 5th - You said you wanted to get ideas for church, bible study and youth activites. The best thing is to ASK THEM. They know what they like, what they enjoy. Let them plan their activites. Let them do the fund raisers. Teach them to be responsible. Then support them in whatever they decide whether it be a concert (just take some earplugs and go), skating, a street dance, a lock-in (a big slumber party at the church), or a camping trip. There are many 2-3 day long music festivals during the summer such as Creation or Sunshine. Pick the closest one and suggest a short trip. One thing our church did was to have youth "vs" adult forums where youth could voice their concerns and there not be any repurcussions afterward. The parents never heard what was said. Also do it vice versa where the parents can voice their concerns and the youth have to respond to those concerns. You also mentioned young adults. They need the same things plus more, especially single parents. One of the main problems I experienced as a single parent is that my sons had no one they could go to for fatherly advice and guidance. No role model. This is a very big problem of today. I think that for every one parent family where the father has no involvement or negative involvement the church should step in and fill this very important role. If it is a single mom then some man from the church needs to step in and spend time with the children. If it is a single father then a woman needs to step in and spend time with the children. Something similar to the big brother/big sister idea. There must be consistance though. There are lots of other needs for a single parent but that is another issue. I don't remember who said it but they said the youth of today WILL be our leaders of tomorrow. Teach them to care, to listen, to be responsible. Many unfortunetly don't get these lessons at home anymore. I hope this has helped you because our youth are the most important thing in the church. |