Praise be to our Lord Jesus Christ.
I feel so confused on what to do as a christian in this matter.
My partner(23 yrs old) and I(25 yrs old, we are not married) I became saved first and then I drew her to Christ as well. She is the only one in her family that is saved they all dont believe in God. We both used to be in the world till we became saved. We do not live together and she lives just about and 2hrs train journey away.
We have been together for about 2 and half years. I was a bit more spritually higher than she was being that I did all the encouragement and she was very diligent. We both were in the ushers department and she was dedicated she used to come to church 3 times a month from were she lived. Everything was fine. And she has seen the power of God manifest in her life. God has put her in University(in her final year soon), provided her with a job, she bought a new car, she stooped drinking, going clubbing. God really made a lot of changes in both of us
Then she met this woman at work about 6months ago. The woman is 31 yrs of age and my partner is 23 yrs. This woman was a non beliver. Since my partner meant this woman she as really changed. She has stopped coming to church, she nearly broke up with me within this time in which I spoke to her if this is what she really wanted and she said no then we got back together. She has stopped praying with me and reading the bible with me, she doesnt come and see me anymore or come to church.
She used to tell me everything about this woman but as stopped telling me things. And I did warn her but i didnt want her to think I was ruling her by telling her what friends she can have.
The woman has 3 kids with her boyfriend(they are not married) and before my Partner changed towards me she used to tell me how the woman says she hates her boyfriend, her life and all sorts of negative things.
Since my partner has been with this woman she has started drinking again, going out clubbing again and doest want to hear anything about God or church.
I tried to work things out because I knew this was an attack on our relationship and was a spiritual battle for the salvation of my partner.
At this stage in the relationship the woman seems to have a great hold on her that she is always talks to the woman more than she talks to me. She talks to the woman like 5hrs in a go. And everytime I try and talk she gets very rude to, talks to me like dirt, drops the phone on me and she gets defensive about the woman which leads to arguements.
I then arranged at one time to come down and see her(at this point we were still actively together) booked my train ticket, packed my bags etc.
She then phoned me from the womans house and told me not to come down at that day reason being she was going out with the woman becasue she just finished her exams.
I then replied to her which is more important us working things out between us or you going out. At this point I ws quite annoyed and told her if I didnt come down today that it was over between us. She rudely said she didnt care.
My apologies on the long question. But what can I do as a christian.
After this incident she called be 5 days later saying she wanted to say hello and see how I was. I spoke to her briefly and she didnt even apologise or mentioned how she treated me or even said that she wants to work things out. She wanted me to make the first move as usual but I didnt. She hasnt called be back since about two days now from the date of this posting. I know she wants me to make the first move because I havent called her either since the incident. But I know if I call her she will say she wants to work things out and then think im easy by thinking she can get away with anything and all il do is just get angry for few days. But this time I have held out much longer.
I dont know what to do?
I really Love my partner and we have both been very faithful to each other and to God before she met this woman
Should I simply forget about her?
Please, Please any advice on what to do as a Christian and what the scripture says will be greatly appreciated.
Bible Answer: 1 Corinthians 7:25-40 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
Hello Gab, take a look at these scritpures and think about what Paul is saying. Imagine the life of godliness Paul is suggesting.
The best think you could do is to continue to devote yourself to the Lord. Pray, study the word and get involved in ministry in your church. If your church does not have an outreach ministry of somekind find an outreach ministry nearby that needs volunteers and help out.
As you are busy doing the work of God, witnessing the Gospel, telling people what great things God has done for you in Jesus Christ you will learn many things. One of the things that you will soon be very clear on is that your main goal in life is to serve and please the Lord, everything else comes second including romance. If you love this girl in the Lord you will point her to the same life of adventure, serving God and enjoying eternal things. She will find such a thing attractive if there is any hope at all. If not then don't look back follow hard after Jesus Christ and forsake all from Him. After all that is the only way to be a true christian.
Matthew 10:37-38 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
Luke 9:61-62 And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.
You must remain loving and kind and reach out to her in love as you would any other lost sinner or backslider, but you must follow the Lord.
As you are involved in outreach and doing the work of the Lord, living life on the "cutting edge" of the kingdom and not getting bogged down in "false christian religion" then you will find that you are ministering alongside sisters in the Lord that share a like passion for the Lord Jesus Christ with you. First you will be friends treating them as sisters only with all purity, but as God wills it there will be one that he will put you with that will be that person that will serve the Lord with you in Life, where you will both have a passion for serving God and not be a drain on each other like the way Paul speaks about. It is very important to make sure you are very patient allowing God to give you the wife that will not backslide on you or loose her passion for the Lord a year after you are married. That is why meeting her in the work of outreach is so helpful. The kind of wife you want is one that has the same passion for Christ that you have and just going to church does not really tell you much. The one that is burning with the fire of the Holy Spirit is one who is serving the Lord in ministry. God bless you as you seek His Face Daily.