Results 1 - 3 of 3
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Results from: Notes Author: Hatshepsut Ordered by Date |
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Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | Judgement does not heal abuse. | Jer 5:31 | Hatshepsut | 86558 | ||
Love is the premise of salvation. Salvation is the result of love(John 3:16). The body of Christ has the right to judge a man's actions, but not his spirit. Only God knows what is in the spirit of a man (or woman). You and I are on different planes of sight concerning these issues. In order to dispel what might become foolish arguments, this is my final response. |
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2 | Judgement does not heal abuse. | Jer 5:31 | Hatshepsut | 86523 | ||
This is a note to Scribe. Your comment concerning the church and abuse seemed pretty judgemental. Actually, that is part of the problem. Abuse is not a denominational or sectarian issue. It is not even an issue of whether or not a person is born again. You are throwing out the baby with the bath water. We are born of the spirit( Genesis 1:26,27; John 3:1-5). We are also clothed in our physical bodies (Genesis 2:7;John 3:6). If we are honest with ourselves, we will admit that, though our spirits are redeemed, our souls are in a continual state of redemption. The Bible says that we must "work out our own soul's salvation". Romans tells us to be renewed (born again) in our minds, not our spirits. None of us is guiltless, even those who have been saved by grace. While neither I nor God condone my husband's former behavior or my pastor's negligence, their salvation is not in question. Scribe, of all the churches you were in, I'm sure you do not know how many women were frightened into silence. Do you know the signs of an abusive relationship? Do you know that 1 in every 6 women in communities of faith is abused? Do you know that out of those 6, 4 of them are physically abused? Do you have any idea of the long term psychologically trauma caused by verbal abuse? Do you know that bruises may heal but the fear factor goes on for years, even for the life of the person abused? My pastor preached against abuse. She had been a victim of it herself. We disagreed on how she handled my particular case. Was she called to minister? Yes. I belonged to that congregation for fourteen years and grew tremendously under her teaching. I would not have even known enough to fight my abuser if it hadn't been for the word she had taught me. I have learned that pastors are human beings just like us and we are in sin when we put them on pedestals and dare them to make mistakes. My trust is in God, not humans. When I acknowledged this, I was able to forgive and move on. Judgement does not bring healing. All of us are guilty of foolishness at one time or many times. Does that mean we are not saved? No. It means we are hewn men. It means we are unlearned, undeveloped or underdeveloped in that area. I no longer live with my husband but I continue to pray for him. He is a man of great revelation. He was a good provider and he did the best he could with what he had. Unfortuneately for him, he was raised and nurtured in an atmosphere of violence. That is not an excuse since at any time he could have made a choice to change. Change is difficult, especially when you have to face yourself and admit your own sin. You said we don't need a movement. You claim that it is a losing game. In a society that teaches men that "head of household" means ruler and dictator, and wife means "one who serves", someone must bring about the balance. God is depending on the church to do that but first we must clean up our own house. After all, doesn't God's judgement start with us? Statistically one in every three women has been abused by someone they love. (These are only the reported cases.) Yes, a movement is needed. Over 1,000 women every three minutes dies at the hands of a loved one. Yes, a movement is needed. Women are at a 50-100 percent greater risk of fatality once they leave their abusers. Yes, a movement is needed. There were no shelters or aide in existence for families fleeing domestic violence until around 1969 or 79 and even now there are only 1,000 in the United States. You do the math. A movement by the body of Christ is definitely needed. An educated movement that works in co-existence with the social movement, not against it. Movement equals growth. Anything that doesn't grow dies, no matter what it is wombed from. Scribe, often times with us hewn men, the Spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak. We are not to condemn those who sin, but to forgive and to help them. I help by continuing to love, forgive and pray for those who have abused or neglected me. The Bible tells me that when I do this, I am blessed. And so it is. Be Blessed. |
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3 | How does the church respond to abuse? | Jer 5:31 | Hatshepsut | 86513 | ||
In response to mommapbs, I was nearly in tears as I read your answer. It is very affirming to know that there is someone out there who won't sidestep the issue but will deal with it with real answers. I will definitely get the book you recommended. You also gave me more insight as I hadn't thought much, although I had read some in doing research on domestic violence, about spiritual abuse. There isn't much reading material out there concerning domestic violence in communities of faith. I am looking forward to reading your recommmendation. As to your question of whether I see the wounding or the healing - yesterday I lay on the floor relaxing and talking with a friend of mine. We were listening to Yolanda Adams singing "While Riding Through The Storm". In my former life, I was a praise dancer. As I listened to the song, I remembered a dance that I had "performed" to that piece. I smiled, though, when I remembered the storm of secretly stealing away from my home, where God brought my children and I, and how we are doing now. That song is so much more real to me. Today we have no electricity, I don't know how I'm going to pay the rent, and I am currently unemployed. In spite of all of this, I have joy and peace because I have seen God work so many miracles. I see the healing in my 7 year old son who, when I brought him here, was very violent. He is now a distinguished honor roll student entering a special program for gifted children. He wants to be a pastor when he grows up. My 11 year old has been an ambassador and conflict mediator for two schools this year. My 8 year old is less afraid and more loving than ever. My 17 year old, though still very troubled, is learning to take baby steps in the direction of her goals. My 18 year old son, now a man who lives outside of the home, is recognizing his need of God. Before we left, he believed he needed a gun. I do not really know how my 13 year old stepson is doing, but, if nothing else, I hope I have taught him by my leaving that abuse of any kind is not acceptable. In regards to protection from the law, there was none for me. I was told that if I took my children out of state, my husband could legally come and get them because he is their father. I was also told that I must sit down and mediate with him (while I was still living with him) concerning custody. You cannot mediate with a madman. I left against the counsel of the church and the law. God protected us legally, physically and spiritually. Much later, my husband and I mediated the custody of the children. It is my determined purpose to serve as many women and children as possible that live or have lived in the same situations. I have finished a book and am working on a series of books to aide those involved in domestic violence and to teach churches how to recognize and effectively counter domestic violence. I am also working with community organizations to increase awareness of the long term effects of verbal and psychological abuse. Again, thank you for your response. |
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