Results 1 - 2 of 2
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Results from: Notes Author: hnsq Ordered by Verse |
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Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | addicted to porn-help | Psalm | hnsq | 109359 | ||
If you were there, at the cross, what would you have done, to look in His eyes, to see His soul? I can never forget that day. Marcus and I were waiting, as usual, for the next criminal to be released to us. The Romans had perfected the art of execution, not to make it quick, but to serve as an example. Any one who would threaten the Roman government was guilty and the punishment was the most painful and degrading that could be devised. They had refined it to an art. It never really served as a deterrent. We would be busy this day. We knew we had two men to execute. We heard there was a third to be coming, a Jesus Barabbas. He had been caught leading an insurrection and had committed murder and that was grounds for us to do our job. As Marcus and I neared the city, we commented on how busy the roads were. There were people from all over, and every tongue was heard. It was a feast day of the Jews, the Passover they call it. As we fought our way through the crowds, we noticed there was a great group of people by the palace porch. We stretched to see over the crowd and saw a man, but who could tell his features? I am a man used to blood and a man in agony doesn't affect me, I've seen it too much. It is part of my job. But this man…. this man.... He was wearing a robe, the kind royalty would wear, and where the blood had not soaked through it was purple, the color of royalty. Someone had put a crown woven of thorns on his head and the spikes had gouged deep tears in his scalp and his face. You could hardly see the form for the swelling and bruising and blood. I inquired of one of the spectators about this man. He told me they had scourged him. That explained all the blood; most people could not live through a scourging. My job also involved carrying people, corpses mostly, from the grounds where the scourging was usually done. If they were alive when I dragged them out, they usually weren't alive long. How could this man still be standing? Pilate came before the people. "It is customary to release to you one prisoner. Do you want Barrabas or this innocent man, Jesus? For I find no fault in him." The crowd roared, "Give us Barrabas." "But this Jesus, what is to be done with him?" "The crowd roared back "Crucify him, crucify him, crucify him....." A couple of our co-workers got the other two prisoners and it was up to Marcus and I to get this Jesus to Golgotha. I knew it was going to be a problem. They had taken off the robe and put his cloak on him. When they removed the robe, pieces of his flesh came off with it and the blood started flowing again. As was customary, we set the crosspiece on his shoulders to carry. He nearly fell from the weight of it. His face contorted with the pain. He said nothing. But his eyes.... It was a long walk. We found a man, a visitor in the city, to carry the crosspiece. We knew Jesus could not get there carrying that weight by himself, and it was our job to see he stayed alive to be crucified. Slowly we came to the hill of execution. As we removed his clothes, I was amazed anew that he was still alive. There was not a place on his body that was not bruised or bleeding. The gall was offered to him to deaden the mind and body. Even with the gall, the condemned would fight. But he refused it. I thought we were in for a difficult time of it. We laid him on the cross. Marcus stretched out one arm and I the other. My hands were slipping on his arm, trying to find purchase **through the blood. A great heaviness came over me. As I placed the spike on his wrist I could hardly raise the mallet. He did not flinch nor did he draw back. It seemed as though he planted his hand steady so I could do my job easier. Then his face slowly turned toward me and he looked at me. His gaze seemed to pierce my soul. His eyes... As the mallet came down and spike parted skin and sinew, his face filled with agony. As we raised the cross and dropped it in the hole in the ground and his full body weight hung from those nails, he looked at me.....And he looked at me.... And he spoke...... "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." But I now understand what I did. I had to hurry away. Although I had crucified hundreds, I could not get this Jesus out of my mind. I could still see his eyes, hear his voice. It took me a few days to find some of his followers. They had been in hiding. They had been afraid that they would be tied to Jesus. They told me they put him in a tomb and 3 days later he arose. They said Jesus had told them that to those who repent of their sins, believe He is the Messiah, and would ask him into their hearts would be given everlasting life. I would never have believed them, they were so afraid of telling me anything, if I had never seen his eyes and heard him say I forgive you. that hit me pretty hard, and I think that will help a lot. Thanks again for the advise, pray for me. |
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2 | addicted to porn-help | 2 Timothy | hnsq | 109356 | ||
I am saved, and I have been reading my Bible a lot more in the past few months, I read my Bible and pray about it daily, but I am still addicted | ||||||