Results 1 - 3 of 3
|
|
|||||
Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Answers, Unanswered Bible Questions, Notes Ordered by Verse | ||||||
Results | Verse | Author | ID# | |||
1 | My first Poem, Should I keep my dayjob? | Gen 3:21 | Scribe | 86507 | ||
My First Poem Priest of Eden The first sacrifice for sin it, no doubt, must have been, slain as it were, without hands on this first altar made for man the skins, only a shadow of the blood that would cover man before the flood And who is this garden priest of Eden? none other than the Lamb slain predestined. Gary David Morris 2003 |
||||||
2 | My first Poem, Should I keep my dayjob? | Gen 3:21 | Just Read Mark | 86511 | ||
Hey Scribe: I like it. Especially the 3rd couplet. The last line seems a little ponderous. Heavy handed... How about: "And who is this garden priest of Eden? The lamb, upon whom I'm feedin'." Sorry, that's horrible. "The Lamb that saints believe in." But really, I think it needs another edit on the ending - you really need to nail it. Some ambiguity is Ok --give enough that people can think it through. Until then, well, a day job can give you the freedom to create without compromising ;-) |
||||||
3 | My first Poem, Should I keep my dayjob? | Gen 3:21 | Scribe | 86512 | ||
Thanks Just Read Mark, I appreciate the feedback. |
||||||