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|Results from: Answered Bible Questions, Unanswered Bible Questions
Author: Screen Name Ordered by Date
|1||Should we put effort in finding a mate?||Gen 17:1||Screen Name||147938|
|How much effort should we put into finding a mate? I recently turned 40 and I have never been married. If I live to the average age of 72, then more than 50 percent of my life is already gone. I dated until my late 20's when I went a Singles Seminar. It had the same theme as Joshua Harris' book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." He said the western concept of dating was a recent invention and mainly in western industrialized countries and we should leave finding a mate in Gods hands.
What he said made sense so I stopped dating altogether. Now over a decade later and I am no closer to having a life mate than before. My question is how much effort should we put into finding a mate? What about joining Christian dating sites? What about eHarmony.com? What about someone from overseas?
I have not met anyone at church to marry.
I have not met anyone at work to marry.
I have not met anyone through friends to marry.
I have not met anyone through volunteer activities to marry.
I have not met anyone at he grocery store to marry.
I have not met anyone at social events to marry.
I have not met anyone at singles events (potlucks, Halloween alternatives, seminars, etc.) to marry.
I see people all around me getting married. Are all of them so much better than me that they "deserve" to get married? Did they do something "earn" getting blessed by God with a wonderful spouse and I did not?
I also see some getting a second and third go around (re-married) and I still have not even been married once.
There are so many things I want to do, but I want to do them with that someone special.
I want to ride the Orient Express train from London to Moscow to Hong Kong with that someone special.
I want to go to one of the fruit orchids where you can pick your own fruit with that someone special.
I want to go for Sunday afternoon rides in the country with that someone special.
I want to go away for the weekend on the spur of the moment with that someone special.
I want to come home and share the exciting news I heard today with that someone special.
I want to go strolling hand-in-hand through a local festival, sampling different foods, listening to live music, looking at the unusual art work with that someone special.
I want to go explore a new city and get lost and find some little out-of-way, hole-in-the-wall cafe that we will recall in our memories as "our special place" with that someone special.
I want to have that certain moment that a song becomes part of our life experience and it becomes "our song" with that someone special.
I thought I was supposed to not actively seek someone out so that God would bring the right person in my life.
Should I take a more active role? How much more? Is registering with an online dating service enough or too far? What about singles events? What is acceptable and what is too much?
Any ideas would be appreciated. Any scripture to back up your suggestions?